People Are People: Sssssh! No Txtng & Talkng! Don't Take Pictures!

This is the first of a series of featurettes about the funny and interesting idiosyncrasies and other out-of-the-ordinary human behaviors worthy of snark and smack.    


Have you ever had that experience in the cinema when the asshat person sitting just a few rows in front of you is busy texting or using his or her cellphone while the movie is playing? Irritating and totally disrespectful, right? However, if it's an emergency or really important like telling your parents to call back in an hour or so because you're inside the library doing a very important research about wizards and magic or vampires then better step out.
It's like playing hide-and-seek and you're doing your best to hide and not be seen (because it's hide-and-seek) but your dog tags along and gives away your hiding place.  Hmmm...Is that parallelism too off the track?
Okay, redirect: People pay to watch a movie inside the cinema not just to see the film but for the whole experience that includes a comfy velvet-lined seat with ample head and back support, drinks holder, a gigantic screen, high-tech digital surround sound (like you're in the mouth of the dinosaur while it's talking), and a hundred or so other people who know not to scream  before anybody else or to laugh when everybody else is laughing.
Since summer is the time for movie blockbusters and new box-office records, maybe it's time for you to review your theater decorum. In just a few more weeks, the final part of the 7th and last installment in the multi-billion dollar movie franchise Harry Potter from Warner Bros. will be taking over cinemas. People from all walks will be trooping the movie houses to get that "total experience."

Who are you among these typical theater goers:

1. The K.I.A. or Know-It-All. This is the I-Know-This-Trailer-That's-Why-I'm-Going-To-Say-The-Title-Out-Loud-So-That-Everyone-Will-Know-I-Know-It person.
2. The Radio Drama/Ringside Announcer.  This is the person who narrates every scene. For example: OMG! She's going to kill the guy but before that she'll kiss him first.   
3. The Constant Inquirer. All questions with obvious answers. Why did you do that? or Why can't you do it? or Can't you see that? She loves you.
4. The Commander/Dictator. Do it! or Kill him! or Run now! Fast! or Take it!
5. The Accordion. Uh, oh... or Aah! or Aha! or Oooh...

There are some countries like the Philippines that play their national anthem before the last screening of the day and everyone, as a courtesy, is obliged to stand. In Thailand, they play their national anthem in honor of their King before every screening and by law, you must stand up and pay respect. I can't think of any sane reason for anyone especially foreigners or non-Thai citizens to not to stand up because if you don't you might end up in prison. If you want to understand why it's important, watch this:

Protocols and theater policies may vary from one place to another. Rainbow Cinemas in Toronto have "Mothers & Babies" Movie Night. In some places, you can get away with highly-disruptive behavior but not in the Alamo Drafthouse Cinemas in Texas. They'll ask you to step out or if you're too self-absorbed and perhaps too blinded by the customer-is-always-right credo, they'll kick your ass out and most likely blacklist you. They do it. They have the right to do so. In fact, it has become a much-applauded theater policy that's why they play PSA's before every screening.    
     
Take a look at this real Alamo Drafthouse Theater video of a female patron who was kicked out of the theater for refusing to stop texting and talking. This is her actual voicemail message, which the theater owner ingeniously turned into a PSA before every screening: 

Take a look at this local NBC news report about the Alamo Stand:

This was one of Alamo's old PSA's about the "No Talking, No Texting" policy inside the theater with a special appearance of the late governor of Texas, Ann Richards (R). 

Broadway (live theater) is another world. It is standard policy in all theaters to prohibit clapping during the performance, to go to the washroom during a performance (they'll actually allow you but you wont be able to go back to your seat until the next intermission or interval), take pictures and video footage (or any recording) because of copyright protections and for the safety of the performers. Of course, cellphones are not allowed too. In some theaters, you are encouraged to leave it at the coat check. 
It's already a given that you can't take pictures during the show. But, did you know that no one is allowed to take pictures inside the theater especially near or in front of the stage? As it turns out, even the curtains and the ambient or setting screen are copyrighted. If you want to know more what you can and can't do in a Broadway theater, read this...
However, some people are really stubborn, ignorant, and utterly disrespectful. Performers can easily get distracted by a camera flash or a cellphone ringing. Just take a look at this video (which by the way was recorded illegally too) of Hugh Jackman in 1999 playing alongside Daniel Craig in the Broadway play "A Steady Rain" : 

Diva of divas. This video is the epic of all because it has the audio of Broadway legend and two-time Tony Award-winner Patti Lupone (Evita, Les Miserables, Gypsy) berating an audience member she caught taking photographs during her performance of the trademark "Gypsy" song, Rose's Turn. 

The next time you go into a theater, watch your manners and be mindful of others. If you can't, stay at home and watch on Netflix. Too bad, you can neither replicate nor equal a live theater performance at home unless you're that rich and powerful. 

Monday's Best: The World Sings "Stand by Me"

The Tragedy in Japan in the Eyes of Two Haitian Children

"If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all..." - Unknown

Geoffery & Joseph had their home destroyed in the 2010 Haiti earthquake. Today they watched as Japan was devastated by the Tsunami. Despite having nothing, Geoff wishes he could help the children of Japan. What then should we, who have everything, do for the children of Japan and Haiti?

www.ryot.org

Sunday's Best

"Do what you love. Love what you do."

To Skateboard Or Not To Skateboard

"Cowabunga, dude! Skateboarding in Kabul?" That's Mikey expressing his surprise after Master Splinter told him over the phone that he's being invited by a clothing company to teach skateboarding lessons to kids in Kabul, Afghanistan.  

The teenage swashbuckling sewer-dwelling turtle as skateboarding teacher in Afghanistan is far fetched even for a beloved cartoon character but the skateboarding kids in Kabul are not.

Young skateboarders skillfully maneuver the dusty and pot-hole 

ridden streets of Kabul. 

Skateboards first surfed the sidewalks and pavements of Southern California during the 50s. Since then, it has evolved into a popular culture involving a skilled tribe of people—school children, teenagers like Mikey and his dudes, young adults (dudes and dudettes), and even some grown-up men who defy the challenges posed by their sagging assess and weakening knees due to age and degeneration—who fly and ply the concrete jungle with their boards. Dogs and monkeys have dabbled in skateboarding too just check YouTube.      

Skateboarding, in fact, has permeated almost all asphalt and concrete jungles around the world and it created  niche  micro-cultures of individuals wanting to have a creative outlet within societies regardless of cultural background, social status, age, or even gender. 
So, what's the big deal about a skateboarding school in the heart of Kabul? I'm not sure. Is there something wrong with Afghan children skateboarding in the streets of Kabul? Maybe.  

I must admit, there's this part of me that is discomfited by idea of skateboarding in post-Taliban Kabul—a still fragile time when Afghanistan as a self-ruling "free" country is yet to show political and cultural oomph. Afghanistan is in the throes of rebuilding, redefining, and re-enforcing its identity as an ancient nation of strong-willed people who have endured and struggled under different invaders and oppressive regimes and many armed conflicts just in the last three decades. What remains of the Afghan culture as a whole after the Taliban rule of tyranny are vestiges of its glorious past. Now that music, movies, TV, books, beauty pageants, porn, and a whole lot more of forbidden things banned by the Taliban are once again back in the mainstream, I am hoping for caution through a more tempered approach in introducing things like a skateboard, which is very pop culture Americana. 
Perhaps, I'm still enamored with the idyllic scenes of kite flying Kabul children portrayed in the book and movie, "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. But then again, that was pre-Taliban era.     
Eureka!

Afghan kids flying on boards in the streets of war-ravaged Kabul. 

Skateboarding in Kabul? Why not? It's 2011 and it's been 10 years since the US with the help of British Special Forces and the Northern Alliance invaded Afghanistan and toppled the Taliban Government. Osama is dead.    

Obviously, I've had several turnarounds while writing this post (within a span of 20 minutes) whether I should problematize or antagonize the promotion or introduction of skateboards in Afghanistan or whether I should just take it as it is and marvel at the heartfelt and guileless hunger of Afghan kids for something purposeful and for something they can claim as their own. 

And then, the remarkable story of how Dorian "Doc" Paskowitz and the "Surfing 4 Peace" movement with the help of One Voice made many Palestinian surfers in Gaza happy when they received donated old surfboards from Israel came to mind. Their story, which received considerable media attention, was an inspiring one and it proved that a surfboard can become a bridge between two sides. New surfboards came and a wave of support landed on the Gaza shores straight from California through the Gaza Surf Relief started by Seweryn “Sev” Sztalkoper.
If good things can come from boards like the surfboards in Gaza then it must be a good sign too that boards with wheels have made its way through the urban maze of Kabul, the capital and largest city of Afghanistan. 

“It is solely because of the support of Skateistan that I am standing now.” Murza, one of the skateboarding Kabul kids in the short documentary, "Skateistan"

Funded by Dazed & Confused and Diesel (the Italian clothing and apparel company) through an artistic collaboration called "Diesel New Voices," "Skateistan" is one of the three short documentaries tackling youth "micro-cultures" in different places around the world. The documentaries aimed to highlight "how a small number of individuals can have a positive social impact by going against the grain, and forging a shared identity through opposition to social pressures." This documentary was part of the official selection during the 2011 Sundance Film Festival.       

FROM THE FILMMAKERS:

Skateistan: To Live And Skate Kabul by ORLANDO VON EINSIEDEL is a beautifully shot film that follows the lives of a group of young skateboarders in Afghanistan. Operating against the backdrop of war and bleak prospects, the Skateistan charity project is the world’s first co-educational skateboarding school, where a team of international volunteers work with girls and boys between the ages of 5 and 17, an age group largely untouched by other aid programmes.

Instant Superstar Aimi Eguchi: The Best of Everything

Do you remember the Andrew Niccol movie "S1mone" starring Al Pacino and Winona Ryder? It's the story of one film producer's soon-to-doomed response when his star walks off set so he creates a digital actress he names S1mone. She becomes an overnight sensation and fools people that she's real, as in human.

The S1mone example is a not so far-fetched idea at all. Although graphic artists have done the amalgamation of several features of different individuals rolled into one before in print and photography, we are yet to see this digital "manipulation" of sorts to take off and flourish on TV and Film creating a "real" superstar like S1mone (but of course sans the drama).

In 2007, Japan released a female performing hologram character named Hatsune Miku. She became an instant hit and was showcased during live events and was aggressively featured in mass marketing campaigns.

And now, the Japanese candy company Ezaki Glico is making waves, wows,oohs, and ahas when it featured in its most recent candy commercial the newest addition to the famous Japanese girl brand group AKB48, which serves as the candy's major endorser.

Her name is Aimi Eguchi and she definitely is beautiful and the best of everything (or everyone).

Watch her charm you with her typical Japanese cute shyness:

Aimi Eguchi created a fuss among AKB48 millions of fans when she was first introduced as the girl band's newest member through a candy commercial and not the same way as before, which was in an internationally televised popular awards show.

Watch the girls and let them make you think that you need a candy right now:

She's real.

She is real as real according to most of her fans. She has her own profile in AKB48's official website detailing her hometown and age. She appeared together with the group in several print and photo ad campaigns.

But she's not what you think she really is. There's no major birther controversy here. Have a look how she came into being:

No doubt, Aimi Eguchi is appealing, delightful, and really attractive. She's the best of everything after all.  

Les Miz Polish Flash-Mob Singing

For the Les Miz super fans or those familiar with the musical, you won't be needing translation because you know this song by heart.

For the uninitiated, the video features the artists in the 2011 Polish Original Cast Album recording of Les Miserables promoting the album's release through flash-mob singing in one of Warsaw's largest shopping malls.

I know some people who won't be able to resist in joining the chorus if they happen to be in that mall. They might steal the show too but their movements are for Cats the Musical only.